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midnightofferings

After an unfortunate hiatus, TV Tuesday is back on the air! From 1981 comes Midnight Offerings, a spooky high school horror/drama featuring Mary Ingalls as an evil witch and Erin Walton as the good witch who has to fight Mary to save her own life and the life of the boy they both love. Talk about a battle of the network stars!

This movie plays out as if Carrie came to the small screen, only this time she’s the bitchy popular cheerleader. We’ve got an exploding car, a murderous black cat, flying bales of hay, and numerous misuses of shop class tools. Not only that, but we also get Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days as a helpful psychic, the boss from WKRP as the bad witch’s trusting dad, Mary Campbell from Soap as her mom (who has the power herself), Vanna White as a cheerleader, and a Cassidy brother as the love interest. Real TV royalty here, folks.

Personally I was rooting for Erin Walton the whole time, because she had flowing flybacks, while Mary Ingalls had an ugly permed up mullet, but I’ve got to give Mary credit for playing such a convincingly cold and aggressive harpy. Often when I’m watching a movie, I start to get antsy and have already composed my review before the final showdown arrives; well, not this time. This movie was pure fun right up until the end. I thought it was going to go the way of 1977’s The Spell, what with the mother-daughter witches and all, but it was way more shocking. I miss the days when the big three networks had balls!

But you know what? I’m just gonna shut up and embed the movie so you can see for yourself what a good time this one is. It has not made it to DVD, which is a real shame, but thank Cthulhu for those intrepid souls who rip old VHS copies of stuff like this and upload them to the You Tubes. If you like Carrie ripoffs, and I know you do, you must see Midnight Offerings!