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I’ve come to realize that I fell in love with Fulci’s unholy trilogy in spite of myself because of Catriona MacColl. She’s too talented for Fulci movies, one of her screams is worth ten pages of dialogue, she comes off as super genuine and nice in all her interviews and, best of all, she carries the trilogy by playing strong female characters that don’t make any sort of deal about being female. Amazingly, she did it all with her clothes on, and became the fanboys’ imaginary girlfriend anyway.

I was probably the last person on earth to see City of the Living Dead/The Gates of Hell when I watched it in ’09, although I’d wanted to see it since I was a ten year old sneaking around the video store looking at the box art. I remember it had some pretty damn cool box art, and if I’m not mistaken, a warning for elderly people and heart patients.

There’s no shortage of reviews saying this movie makes not a lick of sense. But I’ve come to realize it wasn’t intended to, and I have three reasons why it doesn’t matter. First, I was drawn to the reporter, Peter, played by Christopher George, from the beginning. He was so easy going, he was almost like a person who had achieved enlightenment. When the cop outside the house where Mary (Catriona MacColl) fell dead told him to hit the bricks, he left. The gravediggers told him to buzz off, he buzzed. And instead of running in fright when he heard Mary screaming in her coffin, he dug her up. He also believed every bit of her story and personally took her to find the city of Dunwich.

Second, I have read a lot of complaints about the teleporting zombies. I actually liked this device because it lends credence to my idea about Dunwich existing on more than one plane and leaves us to determine whether they were in fact traditional zombies or whether they were spirits.

Finally, you all know you watched City of the Living Dead to see the chick (Daniela Doria) vomit up her intestines whether you admit it or not. Would anyone care for some sausage?