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Michael Gough is Dr. Storm, a mad scientist who lures his human guinea pigs by pretending to run a cheap vacation resort for young people called “Hairy Holidays.” Storm is actually an incredible melting man in a Michael Gough mask and black gloves who rides in a wheelchair for respect although he can walk. He lobotomizes his “patients” so he can make them do impressive gymnastics and so he can have the sex with the female ones, because he is upset about no longer being attractive to women; also, he hates young people because back in the 20s when he worked for Stalin, a bunch of adolescent scientists crowded him out of his laBORatory. Best of all, Storm drives a Rolls Royce which has a big blade that comes out of the side; he can drive up alongside anyone who is escaping, cut off their heads, and catch them in a little basket which also hangs off of the car.

He runs into a bit of trouble in the form of rebellion and awkward fighting when rock star Jason (Robin Askwith) comes to stay at the rest home along with Judy (Vanessa Shaw), who is traveling to meet Dr. Storm’s wife (Ellen Pollock). Mrs. Storm is Judy’s aunt, who is supposed to be executing Judy’s mother’s will. Along with a dwarf named Frederick (Skip Martin) who is the son of one of Storm’s victims and Abraham (Kurt Christian), a young man with large hair who is looking for his runaway girlfriend (Barbara Wendy), Jason may be able to defeat Storm (yes) and figure out why Horror Hospital is sometimes given the title of Computer Killers (no). A ridiculous story, right?

Also starring Dennis Price as a predatory travel agent and Kenneth Benda as a train station agent/love child of Tom T. Hall and Boris Karloff, Horror Computer Hospital Killers works as an absurd horror comedy. The humor is derived from ridiculous situations, like Frederick stacking the bodies of the guards he’s just drugged so he can climb up on them and reach the lock on the cell door to let Jason and Abraham out. I’m sure there are jokes here that are too British for me to understand, but it suffices that I can read the movie as a send-up of mad scientist horror.

Remember: if you are offered a week in the country for only 25 bucks, someone is going to remove part of your brain once you get there. Take the Bahamas package instead.

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