Tags
Dennis Price, Ellen Pollock, horror movie, Kenneth Benda, Kurt Christian, mad sceintist, Michael Gough, Robin Askwith, Skip Martin, Vanessa Shaw
Michael Gough is Dr. Storm, a mad scientist who lures his human guinea pigs by pretending to run a cheap vacation resort for young people called “Hairy Holidays.” Storm is actually an incredible melting man in a Michael Gough mask and black gloves who rides in a wheelchair for respect although he can walk. He lobotomizes his “patients” so he can make them do impressive gymnastics and so he can have the sex with the female ones, because he is upset about no longer being attractive to women; also, he hates young people because back in the 20s when he worked for Stalin, a bunch of adolescent scientists crowded him out of his laBORatory. Best of all, Storm drives a Rolls Royce which has a big blade that comes out of the side; he can drive up alongside anyone who is escaping, cut off their heads, and catch them in a little basket which also hangs off of the car.
He runs into a bit of trouble in the form of rebellion and awkward fighting when rock star Jason (Robin Askwith) comes to stay at the rest home along with Judy (Vanessa Shaw), who is traveling to meet Dr. Storm’s wife (Ellen Pollock). Mrs. Storm is Judy’s aunt, who is supposed to be executing Judy’s mother’s will. Along with a dwarf named Frederick (Skip Martin) who is the son of one of Storm’s victims and Abraham (Kurt Christian), a young man with large hair who is looking for his runaway girlfriend (Barbara Wendy), Jason may be able to defeat Storm (yes) and figure out why Horror Hospital is sometimes given the title of Computer Killers (no). A ridiculous story, right?
Also starring Dennis Price as a predatory travel agent and Kenneth Benda as a train station agent/love child of Tom T. Hall and Boris Karloff, Horror Computer Hospital Killers works as an absurd horror comedy. The humor is derived from ridiculous situations, like Frederick stacking the bodies of the guards he’s just drugged so he can climb up on them and reach the lock on the cell door to let Jason and Abraham out. I’m sure there are jokes here that are too British for me to understand, but it suffices that I can read the movie as a send-up of mad scientist horror.
Remember: if you are offered a week in the country for only 25 bucks, someone is going to remove part of your brain once you get there. Take the Bahamas package instead.
E.F. Contentment (@EFContentment) said:
Man, I used to think Guy Caballero was a jerk for being an able-bodied man who rode in a wheelchair for respect, but at least he didn’t lop heads off with his Rolls.
I agree, this is a goofy flick, but the absurdity is done in that dry Brit manner that makes you wonder if it was meant to be THAT off; some scenes felt like they were a sped-up Yakety Sax-scored chase scene away from confirming it. Gough’s awesome in it, though.
I caught this flick on a program that used to air in L.A. called Kung Fu Horror Theatre, which was hosted by a masked wrestler called The Nightshadow. It aired 3:00am Saturday night/Sunday morning, which was perfect for guys like me to unwind/smoke out to after a night out (obviously, coming home with a girl wasn’t part of this Saturday Night Fever). Looking back at it, though, KFHT was a terrible show because they pretty much edited the movie down to half its length, the better to take up valuable airtime with various Public Access-style studio shenanigans. The hell, man?
In conclusion, down with Nightshadow — Elvira and Svengoolie forever.
Wednesday's Child said:
I have seen so many unintentionally funny horror movies that I wouldn’t have been sure this was meant to be a comedy without the fact that it’s listed as such all over the internet as such. I agree that horror hosts should not take up much movie time, although I also am a fan of Elvira. That’s what makes riffing so great: you’re still watching the movie and you can tune in to and out of what they’re saying over the actual dialogue.
mistylayne said:
Sounds fun? I actually have a graphic novel somewhere by this same name. I wonder if they’re at all related…
Wednesday's Child said:
Looking up the graphic novel, I don’t think so. Hospital horror can be a creepy subgenre, but this movie isn’t creepy at all. It’s a fun, although dry, comedy, so if you like that, check it out.
vincentwolfram said:
This sounds like a great movie. Nice review.
James said:
I was completely lost until I thought twice about the ‘worked for Stalin’ bit. Then it suddenly made a lot more sense. Great review!
Brian said:
A Hairy Holiday does not sound fun at all.
Wednesday's Child said:
And it isn’t!