Tags
Ashley Scott, Clayne Crawford, Daniel Gillies, Estella Warren, Evil Remains, Jeff Bryan Davis, Jeff Galpin, Kurtwood Smith, Maryam d'Abo, Trespassing
I wonder if there are people out there in real life who actually go and visit abandoned cursed murder houses. If so, they deserve everything they get and a cherry on top.
When a movie that came out in 2004 has alternate titles, you know there’s a problem. This is way past the drive-in days when a movie would do the circuit for years under different names, and there’s no good reason for the re-titling. Although Evil Remains (that’s the title I have it under) has issues, it wasn’t as bad as I normally expect a low-budget horror movie from the Oughties to be.
In the prologue, Louisiana lad Carl Bryce kills his parents horribly in their rural home. Since we’re watching a horror movie, naturally we cut to twenty years later. Now, Mark, an arrogant college student, is interviewing Carl’s shrink, Dr. Rosen, about the supposed curse on the house and land. The doc cautions Mark not to go there, but he goes anyway (got to write that paper for Advanced Death Curses 401, apparently) and brings all his roommates along for the inevitable carnage. There are two lesbians, a “funny” guy who is there to die first, and a guy who Mark has some unexplained and mysterious past conflict with.
What happens is super creepy at times, especially for such a low budget offering. Secret tunnels and an attic are put to good suspenseful use, along with animal traps, and we never get a very good look at the supposed killer, which is a good thing because once you do they usually cease to be scary. The curse makes the trespassers go insane before either they kill each other, or a man in a dog mask kills them. Unless he is a ghost in a dog mask. In the end, we see Dr. Rosen another few years in the future talking to another idiot who is going to go to the house, and there’s an implication that the doctor has something to do with the curse. However, if it was meant to be a twist ending, it failed, because in order to say “gotcha!” we need to know with what we have gotten got. Did they all go nuts? Did one of them only go nuts? Were there hallucinations?
See, we’re never sure what is going on, in a way that goes beyond ambiguity into lazy screenwriting or bad editing. You’re always walking a fine line when you leave loose ends, because there might just be enough of them to hang your movie. I enjoyed Evil Remains, but I can’t recommend it unless you are, like me, one of those people who will watch any WTF supernatural horror movie. In that case, have at it.
Have you ever noticed that in every movie there is one character whose death you are eagerly awaiting because they are so annoying? In this movie it was one of the lesbian chicks. She had this weird wig on that looked like fake dreads made of twine, and she seemed to serve no purpose other than “ooh lipstick lesbians” and to be weak and whiny. Do you think filmmakers put these characters in on purpose to make you anticipate their horrible deaths, or am I just bitchy?
With Evil Remains I have started a new horror eight pack, called “8 Nights of Fright” and put out by Screen Media Films and GT Media. The movies are all produced much more recently than most of what I post about here, but if this one is any indication, this should be fun. I’m not sure if I’m going to rank them like I did with the Lionsgate pack, though. Do you think I should?
theipc said:
As for this review: Loved it! As for this movie: I have passed on this thing too many times to count because of this “as bad as I normally expect a low-budget horror movie from the Oughties to be” and this reminds me of this stupid movie I watched called The Slaughterhouse Massacre. As for your eight pack: YES – GO GO GO this will be fun!
Wednesday's Child said:
You are so sweet. Thank you. Yeah, the movie was way more entertaining than it deserved to be, and not really in a bad way. It just suffered in the editing department, I think. You know how sometimes you’re trying to explain something to someone and they’re looking at you like you have two heads? Then you realize (if you are AT ALL self aware) that you probably are thinking clearly but not expressing what is in your head, at all. I wonder sometimes if that is what happens with these movies. Like they put out the movies, thinking, this is my masterpiece that is gonna blow people away! And then, sad trombone, it makes no fucking sense at all. I prefer this explanation to the alternative, which is that the movie company just does not care at all about continuity or storyline. I am usually the first one to champion a movie that is purposely ambiguous, but seriously, what the fuck Evil Remains?
theipc said:
I know exactly what you are talking about. I felt the exact same way with Dimples. The idea behind Dimples is actually pretty good (even though we’ve seen it dozens of times before) but they left out That Which Could Have Made It Good and went with a bunch of stupid shit that sucked. LOL sad trombone indeed… WAAAAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAAAAHHHHH
theipc said:
p.s. I really like your new format!
Wednesday's Child said:
I like it too, especially the font.
mistylayne said:
“I wonder if there are people out there in real life who actually go and visit abandoned cursed murder houses.” Yes, yes we are real. Okay, I only went to that one abandoned cursed murder house on Halloween that one time with my friends in college but trust me, we paid for it later on by getting terrified on a back road in the middle of nowhere by either ghost cars or a gang initiation. Also, I watched this!!! I enjoyed it (but I too will watch pretty much any wtf supernatural horror movie). Agreed with the ending though, it totally petered out. I do think they put those characters in there on purpose to make you root for death if only so you can then question your own morality. Or something.
Wednesday's Child said:
I’m sort of questioning my morality every time I yell out “Yes!!” at the sight of some irritating chick getting cut in half with a machete, yes, but it’s also a safe way to work out my irritation at real life annoying people, I think. Do you still do any ghost hunting? I like to read about people going to haunted houses but not go to them, unless they’re museums or hotels. I can’t believe someone else watched this movie. Usually I try to fill in the blanks of what might have been the ending, but with this one there was no hope for an explanation being pieced together.
theipc said:
hi friends
a long time ago when I was much younger and less logical, my friends and I would get loaded on beer and go into something like “the old, abandoned hospital” and “the old, abandoned 30′s hotel” and “the old, abandoned water plant” and scare ourselves shitless. My last venture into that action was when, early one morning when the moon was still out, we found an old, abandoned house out in the country and went in. Being as awesome as I was back then, we made it to the second floor and the decision was made that I would be hoisted into the MF-ing attic. So, as they lifted me headfirst into “the opening” just with a lighter for sight, they swirled me around and what did I see but HUNDREDS of glowing eyes!!! So I screamed (a lot lol)and they dropped me and we all ran the fuck out of that place and drove off 80 MPH into wherever we were and I have since given up that practice
(btw I am sure they were either possums or the possessed souls of the recently dead).
Wednesday's Child said:
That is a great story and a fitting end to a career of….Trespassing!!!!
mistylayne said:
Hahhahaaaaaa!!! That’s so awesome!
theipc said:
You two people are awesome!
Wednesday's Child said:
Group hug!
mistylayne said:
Yay group hug!
mistylayne said:
YOU’RE awesome!
mistylayne said:
You make an excellent point about working out your frustration. That’s a good way to look at it. I haven’t been in awhile. Most of the people I know around here aren’t into hunting ghosties. There’s this really awesome old psych hospital around that’s been shut down that’s supposed to be wicked haunted that I *really* wanna go to but you have to be super careful or you’ll get arrested. I totally watched this movie because of Ashley Scott (I like her) and Estella Warren (knew she was a model and figured she couldn’t act and it would be fun to mock).
Wednesday's Child said:
Lots of people seem to like Ashley Scott. She was the one who annoyed me, but I don’t blame her; she did fine with the part she was given, but it was the character that was so annoying.
James said:
I’ve passed on this one a few times purely because it looked decidedly meh. Having read your review, I feel my university education is a little bit wasted since I never got an opportunity to take something like Advanced Death Curses 401. Not even a beginner’s class
Wednesday's Child said:
Eh, if you take that class you never graduate, if you’re like the character in this movie.