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Okay, that’s it. I’m officially never going to be surprised by anything again. I can’t believe I’m forced to say this, but C.H.U.D. 2 is the best movie on the Lionsgate Horror 8 Pack unless The Unholy turns out to be better. I love this movie! It’s a cheesy 80s comedy with zombies, and lands about one level below Night of the Creeps in quality. I wish I was being facetious.

The mulleted guy from Head of the Class and his much smarter friend steal a body from their local CDC for reasons I could not determine and take it home to mullet’s bathroom. Helping them is Tricia¬†Leigh Fisher, who I loved in the movie Pretty Smart but had forgotten about; she is hot, smart, and will help you steal a body, so, get in line, guys. (Also, she wears the cutest one piece bathing suit I’ve ever seen in the big showdown section of the movie. But I digress.)

Anyway, it turns out that the guy who used to tell me to tell them I mean business on the back of my phone book, who is hamming it up as an asshole army general, wants the dead body back to make the perfect undead soldier out of it. But by this time the body has thawed out and become a C.H.U.D. Cue the C.H.U.D., which I am henceforth going to refer to as a zombie because that’s what it is and it’s faster to type the word “zombie,” going around town in a montage while a song whose lyrics are about the movie plays. It’s like I’m winning at 80s movie bingo here.

This movie also contains: a zombie poodle, that guy who did the Sniglets, the TV Frank Burns as a smoking drinking coroner, the guy who cut the tag off the mattress in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, a guy who’s dorky looking until he takes off his glasses, and some nice group choreography of a jitterbug at a dance with a rockabilly band playing while the white people dance is also being done. Oh, yeah, and zombie Norman Fell.

Also, the pace is perfect, just as fast as I like it, with wall-to-wall hilarious dialogue. Seriously, I started writing down the funny lines but I realized the entire post would be full of them, with no context. So you’ll just have to watch the movie.

P.S. Is there a site that shows screencaps of all the Meaningful Movie Marquees that movies use in homage to other movies? There should be. Let’s start one, if not. C.H.U.D. 2 has a marquee advertising John Huston’s The Dead. Nice!

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